Elsie Updates: #3

Tuesday, May 20, 2014: 
I feel bad & guilty for not keeping track of my days for the last what? 20ish days. I meant to keep writing things down but I always procrastinate. Usually I write about things that have happened lately when I feed Elsie or if I have everything done & Elsie is taking a nap but lately I've been reading instead. Elsie actually lets me read now when she is nursing and I enjoy reading when everything else is taken care of, so it is easy to put off writing & keeping track of what happens which day. I know its only been 3 weeks & I could've done wayyy worse.. but still I've missed precious times I can never get back. I know Elsie has laughed one time & I forgot which day it was. & I guess it was one time so maybe it wasn't a "real" laugh so I can always pass off her second laugh as the first one.. but still! Or the first time she rolled over. I guess I can look back at the picture I took to find out what day it was.. but still! I feel like a slacker. I don't want to forget this time as a first time mother. I don't want Elsie to feel like I didn't care because I care more than she will ever know. I want to be able to tell her stories when she asks about things when she is older & know the exact date.. & the exact story not some jumbled up I-am-unsure-if-this-is-all-true story. ugh I definitely need to be better.

Just to put this out there.. Elsie is such a good sleeper now!! My sister gave me the best advice ever. She told me to make sure to put her in her own room once she started sleeping well otherwise when she realizes we are  there she will wake up & want to be in bed with us. She has been in her own room since the beginning of the month.. I couldn't tell you which day because I suck & haven't been jotting things down. ): she sleeps 5-9 hours straight then 2-3 more hours after she eats. Always 8-10 hours total!! So nice(: I love the nights now because she sleeps 7-9 hours! Amazing!!

Today has been a good day. Elsie took a 40 minute nap around 10ish.. then a 30 minute nap around 11:30 & then a 2.5 hour around 1:30ish. Letting me have a 40 minute nap. She doesn't always nap good during the day.. but we figured out how to get her to nap somewhat better during the day... Socks on her feet(: In the beginning she was never happy if her feet were covered, so we just got used to it and didn't have her feet covered for naps. It took a while but we finally figured that that was the reason she kept waking up from her naps. If we wrapped her feet in a blanket she would just kick until her feet were free, but then she would wake up.

Thursday, May 22, 2014: 
Today has been a good day. We took Elsie swimming for the second time. She didn't like it at first.. probably because the water was a little cold & she hated the sun in her eyes. But she warmed up to it pretty fast. So I would say it was definitely a success! She fell asleep while I was holding her in the water.. it was soo cute!! I can't wait until she is 6 months so she can learn how to "swim". Well that is if Butte has the program! I want all my children to learn how to swim.. well what I mean is float when they're 6 months.. & learn to swim very young like between 1-4. I think it is so important & can definitely save their lives!!

Dee & I went on our second date without Elsie. It is so hard to leave her! I obviously know it'll get easier & easier.. it was nice for me to be alone with hubby even though I was thinking about Elsie the whole time. Its crazy how kids take over your life. I have a feeling I will always be thinking/worrying about Elsie! Even when she's 40.. 

Friday, May 23, 2014:  

Elsie laughed!! She laughed! It was so cute! It was definitely different from the "first time" so technically I can pass this laugh off as the 1st time... Right? Ha!

Elsie also slept so good last night! She fell asleep before I could even give her a bath!! She must have been worn out from swimming or something! She slept a little over 12 hours. 11 hours straight.. then after she ate she slept for almost a hour & a half more! Maybe she needed that sleep because she was having a big growth spurt or something? Who knows! All I know is she woke up super happy! She was smiling so big & cooing & kicking her legs! I got some super cute pictures!(: she didn't laugh until later though..  

Now she is being super fussy. Sometimes it drives me nuts because I have no idea why she decides to be super fussy all of a sudden. She just ate. She just got a couple burps out. She has a clean diaper. I'm holding her. I've tried various ways of holding her. I've tried rubbing her back. I checked her feet to see if they were too cold or too hot. I laid her down. She went "running". I patted her back. I've walked around. I turned on the t.v for a different sound. I've showed her toys. I've tried everything!! Still fussy. I even tried the rocking chair.. it worked for a while but she started getting fussy again. I guess the only thing left is taking her outside? Ahh the joys of not knowing what is wrong or what to do! I wish daddy (Dee) was home!

Sunday, May 25, 2014:
It definitely is not fun having a sick baby. Okay obviously I knew having a sick baby would not be a fun thing.. but still I didn't realize how hard it would be. All they do is cry & freak out.. want to be held. & they throw up (or spit up.. how do you even tell the difference??) All over you more than usual. They don't want to stop eating for any reason.. & they don't wake up happy. They wake up crying. She doesn't have a fever or anything.. but her nose is all stuffed up & she is extra extra cranky & needy.. so I know something is up! Poor baby. I wish I could make her feel better. But I guess for now I will just let her keep eating.. even though it isn't fun when she eats for longer than 30 minutes. 

I Think Elsie did end up having a fever today. She was pretty warm.. but by the time Dee went & bought a  thermometer she was only 97.4 so her fever went away after I gave her a bath around 5:30 & then she finally took a nap for about a 1 & a half.. I think that helped her. Poor Elsie ):

She was super cuddly yesterday.. It was super cute & sweet but I definitely knew she wasn't feeling well because she doesn't really cuddle anymore.. she likes to explore/look around now. She is doing SO much better today so far. I'm glad whatever was wrong didn't last long. Such a sad day ):

Monday, May 26, 2014:
Elsie updates: 3 months today!

She plays while she eats.
She can roll over.. well she only did it one time & she was on the bed so I guess maybe she doesn't know how to roll over?
If we put her on her back she lifts her legs & head off the ground as if she is trying to get up.
She gets frustrated easily.
She sleeps in her own room now (since the beginning of May).
She likes when we hold her facing away from us so she can look around.
She sleeps through the night. 5-9 hours then 2-3 more hours. Always 8-10 hours total.
Lifts her bum up when she doesn't want to do something. i.e when we try to put her in her carseat
She has noticed her hands but she doesn't have full control of them yet.
She still loves bath time. I give her long baths so she can get all her energy out kicking her legs & moving her arms so she will sleep good at night.
She hates getting lotion rubbed on her now.. but I think its because she wares herself out in the bath resulting in her being cranky & starving.
She smiles at us when she sees us. i.e when we go check on her in the morning when she wakes up.
She loves being nakey.
She is wearing size 2 diapers now (this happened really recently).
Still wearing 0-3 month clothing.. but I think in the next week or two she will be in the next size!
Pretty sure she knows who we are. When we come home from a date or pick her up after a date she smiles & coos at us. (We have only gone on 2 dates without her though..)
She takes a bottle from only me or Dee.
She doesn't like to be on her belly for very long
She holds onto my shirt while she is nursing.. it is so cute!!
She is "talking" a lot more
She blows bubbles with her spit.. I do not know that it is intentional though.
She hates car rides.. especially when we are in my car.
She can play with toys now & I must say it is the cutest thing ever!
Dee can rock her to sleep.. but she wont let me do it. She thinks she has to eat to go to sleep with me. (That is when it is night/bed time. Sometimes she will just fall asleep in my arms or on her own during the day though).
She weighs 13.4 lbs & she is about 26 inches... She gained 1 lb (idk how accurate that is though..) & she gained about 3 inches since last month! Holy moly!

May 11, 2014

 Happy Mother's Day!

Words cannot describe how excited & happy & lucky I feel to be this wonderful little angel's mom. She has changed my life.. for the better. She makes me want to be a better person! She makes me feel so wanted & needed.

I'm her mother. The one who gets to teach her right from wrong. The one who gets to wipe away all her tears. The one who gets to wake up/stay up countless late nights/early mornings to soothe her & feed her. The one who labored 10.5 hours eagerly waiting her arrival. The one who worries non stop about her. The one she spits up on, pees on & smiles at after because she knows I will always forgive her. The one who would sacrifice anything for her.. even my life! The one who held her on my belly for the first time & cried & cried because I loved her more than I ever loved anyone in just 2 seconds. The one who thinks she is the most beautiful girl in all the world. The one who loves her dad. The one who puts her needs before my needs. The one who cries every time I look at her sweet innocent face. The one who held her inside me for 9 months. The one who felt her kick for the first time. The one who endured 9 months of pregnancy & received Elsie as the best gift in the world! The one who will always be there for her. The one who will ALWAYS love her no matter what! Yep.. that's me! I'm Elsie's mom & I am so blessed. 

9 months of pregnancy.... Late nights... Crying & holding her for the first time!

She is everything I ever hoped for & more. Having a baby is hard work.. but I would never have it any other way. If I was a good person before her.. I'm so much the better with her. I love this sweet little angel, my beautiful daughter, Elsie. & I'm grateful for the gift God has given us women. To work with him to create life. It is purely amazing!

Happy Mother's Day to ALL women! Hope you all enjoy this day & don't receive any rude remarks. I remember how it was for me last Mother's Day. So my heart goes out to the ones who have lost a mother.. the ones who have lost a child.. & the ones who can't have children. This is your day too!

Elsie Updates: #2

Lets start off with some cute pictures of Elsie. These pictures are after March 31.. but before April 8(:

Yes, she actually fell asleep like this.. Crazy baby!

Tuesday April 8, 2014:
I keep waiting for things to go back to normal.. & then I realize oh wait this is normal now. I guess it really is that hard for me to accept change. I hate change. I'm probably the worst at dealing with change!! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love having Elsie around & I definitely wouldn't trade this for anything. I just really really really wish she had a schedule. A routine. Something that was consistent. I know I needed to work on my whole I-love-to-control-&-plan-out-every-situation habit.. but I didn't think it would be this hard! I knew having a baby would test my planning everything out problem. & it most certainly has, because I can't plan a darn thing! But honestly (& who knows why I thought this?) I thought having a baby & being a mother would just be a piece of cake. So many women make it look so easy! (Namely my sister) I didn't really understand that no I can't plan my whole day out.. no I can't know for sure when I'm going to bed, no I don't know when Elsie is going to decide to have a good day.. or a bad day. I can't plan anything! It drives me nuts! I didn't really understand I guess (just like for some strange reason I didn't understand what people meant by "hope you don't like sleep." Now I know very well that the baby doesn't sleep through the night. Now I understand how it feels to get less than 4 hours of sleep in 48 hours.. or 4 hours of sleep total every day. & those 4 hours are heaven I might add! Ha!) But now I know I should have been preparing myself for this. I should have planned to unplan. (I know that's not a word). & plan unstructured days. Days where everything I planned did not happen.. so I would have at least been somewhat prepared for this! But life doesn't work that way. You just take "trials" as they are & get through them the best you can. I know for a fact I've gotten better at just letting my planned day go down the drain. But I've learned that I need to at least check 1 (or 2 depending on the day & my anxiety level) thing(s) off my daily to do lists or I go insane because "things didn't go as planned" yes I'm kind of a psycho.. & I'm working on it.

Elsie has had a lot of good days so far. I tested out chocolate again on Friday April 4 at night. Yep she hates chocolate. She didn't have a good day on Saturday.

Elsie is a curious baby. She loves to look around. When I'm holding her she loves to hold her head up (& she has gotten a lot better at holding it up the last couple weeks) & look at things. She smiles even more than she used to. She loves bath time now & she still loves getting rubbed with lotion. She has been wearing 0-3 month clothing since the 1st of the month. They are still a little baggy, but she definitely cannot fit newborn clothing anymore! She is so beautiful! I love her more & more everyday!! Tomorrow she will be 6 weeks! So unreal!

Elsie sleeping while I change her diaper.. She's a cutie!

The last two nights she has been sleeping in her own bed (before then she has been sleeping in my arms or in bed with us for about a week & a half). The last two nights she has slept 4/4.5 hours straight!! (Instead of waking up every 30 minutes-2 hours). Then she eats & goes back to sleep for 2 hours. Wakes up, eats, goes back to sleep for 1 hour. Then she takes 2-2 hour naps during the day. I wish I could say this is going to he her routine.. but tonight could be totally different! /: but here is to hoping she will do the same thing tonight!

Friday, April 11, 2014: 
I love being a stay at home mom & wife! I love making meals, cleaning the house, taking care of my baby, catching up on reading when she is eating.. I will admit I have also taken on watching tv while she is eating & I've probably watched more tv in my whole life combined than I ever had before Elsie. (That needs to change). Its just easier to turn the tv on than grab a book to read with one free hand.. plus for some reason she stops eating every time I look at a book.

Starting on Monday I'm going to start working out again.. I'm going to go easy on myself for the next 3 weeks.. but once May rolls around I'm going to go all out. Because now I don't have an excuse for being fat. Sometimes I miss my pregnant belly.. it was easy to feel okay about being "fat"/ "big" & it didn't feel like people were judging me. If anything everyone would say "you're eating for two now" "oh it doesn't matter what you eat" "give into those cravings, it means the baby wants it" & although I didn't agree with those statements (Especially the eating for 2 part.. more like eating for you & 1/16 of a person..) It was just nice having an excuse & not feeling bad for what I ate. But now.. I need to start watching what I eat & be healthy again. I need to be a good example to Elsie so she doesn't want to be a couch potato & eat unhealthy & become fat. I'm glad Dee is into going to the gym & I'm glad I'm the same way, so we can always be an example to our children & they can be motivated to stay healthy. I don't even want my kids to go to fast food restaurants or drink Soda.. but Dee says I can't take that away from them. America is full of child obesity.. so that's why I worry about that but I guess everything is fine in moderation & as long as they're not eating it ALL the time it would be fine. Plus its not like Dee & I are obese so we have a less chance of having obese kids.

Anyway I'm getting off topic. Basically I just wanted to say I'm going to start getting back into shape. I'm going to start running again so I can run 6 miles & feel fine.

Updates on Elsie.. I think she is starting to have a routine! But I don't want to jinx it. She has slept good at night lately! Going to bed anytime between 9:30-11:30 sleeping for 4-5 hours. Waking up to eat. Going back to sleep for 2-3 hours.. waking up again to eat. Going back to sleep for 1-2 more hours. Waking up to eat & if I'm lucky 1 more hour in bed with me. (She didn't sleep good Tuesday night though, she woke up every 2 hours. But the good part is at least she slept in her own bed!) She has been taking 2-2 hour naps during the day. Sometimes its just 1 hour naps here & there but we seem to be getting on a routine & I'm one happy mama!(:

Saturday, April 12, 2014:
I already hate today & its only 8am. I officially jinxed Elsie's "routine" she hardly slept last night. & to make matters worse.. I'm not feeling well. Dee & I decided to go on a date last night so we took Elsie to the movie Frozen at the $2 theater. (She did really good. Probably because I fed her half the time & patted her back or Dee was holding her the other half. She only fussed a few times). Since we went to a movie we got popcorn. Its hard for me to pass up the chance to get popcorn while at a movie.. especially since during my pregnancy it made me sick the last three times I had it. (Yeah I apparently didn't learn my lesson until I threw up the last time I had it. After that I didn't get popcorn whenever we went to a movie). So I decided since I wasn't pregnant anymore the popcorn wouldn't make me sick. Yeah I was so wrong. After Elsie woke up from only sleeping for 3 hours last night.. I felt super sick. I felt like I was going to throw up & I had a horrible headache (I actually STILL have the headache.. probably from lack of sleep). After I fed her & put her back down I ended up throwing up which made the headache worse. It sucks feeling sick when you have a baby.. you can't just sleep or rest when you need to.

After throwing up I got back into bed & hoped that Elsie would at least sleep 3 more hours so I could try to feel better.. nope only 30 minutes. She wouldn't sleep longer than 30 minutes the rest of the night!! Of course the night I felt super sick she decided not to sleep! To say I'm exhausted would be an understatement. I can't get rid of this headache.. & to add to everything Elsie has been having a problem with Pooping.. so of course since I'm sick & since she didn't sleep last night, her body decides that hey lets not poop! Now the only way she will sleep is on me. But it just isn't fair. Then I don't get to sleep. Ugh! See why I hate today??

Oh! & stupid me decided to eat the red velvet ice cream cake Dee brought home yesterday.. so you know she is going to start acting up sometime today since Red Velvet has chocolate in it. Today couldn't get much worse!

Note to self.. don't think that just because she has been super good the last 3 days means you can afford to eat something your baby seems to not like.. because then Murphy sets in. If one thing is going to go wrong.. everything is going to go wrong!!! Can I have a redo?? I just want to sleep. I just want to feel better! I just want Elsie to sleep! I just want her to poop!

 

Continued from April 12, 2014

Well.. I guess I spoke too soon this morning.. it is now 6pm & today has been wonderful! After I wrote that on my phone & sent it to my email Elsie slept from 9:50am-12:15pm. & my headache went away after that 2 hour nap I got! She ended up pooping after she woke up from her nap & has been as happy as can be since! She has been super smiley! She even took another nap around 2.. but only for 30 minutes. & another one for about a little over a hour. She is so cute(: I'm so glad today wasn't how I thought it was going to be!

She stayed asleep the whole time I was changing her diaper (the one on the right).

 Saturday, April 19, 2014:

Elsie let me sleep 5 hours straight last night!! Ahh! 5 hours of sleep straight is seriously heaven to me(: ever since she had that rough night on Monday/Tuesday she went back to her old routine of only sleeping at the most 2 hours straight. Its obviously better than no sleep.. but whenever she sleeps 4-5 hours straight its heaven!

Elsie has been super super good the last couple days.. she doesn't feel like she needs to be held 24/7 & if I put her down she will be fine. She won't cry she just lays there & kicks her feet/legs, makes cute baby noises, & looks around. Yesterday she laid in her crib for 30 minutes wide awake completely content!! It was amazing! & after she slept 5 hours straight last night she went back to sleep for 2 hours! & when she woke up she didn't cry, she just laid there. So I woke up to cute baby noises instead of a crying baby(:

I love this little baby! She is so sweet, & cute, & cuddly, & happy, & chubby, & beautiful, & precious, & she's just a little angel baby! & I get to be her mom! I feel so blessed!

Last night Dee let me have a girl's night with my sister Megan so he watched Elsie while Megan & I went to dinner! It was nice being able to get out & not be holding a baby for a little bit. Its weird how much I missed her though.. I really am not ready to let anyone babysit unless its Dee. It's just that I had her with me for nine months & now I have to part from her? It makes me sad. It will get easier for me though, but for now she is coming on dates with us/ going everywhere with me until I'm ready! I don't want her out of mine or Dee's sight &/or reach!! I guess I'm a little crazy! Ha..

Tuesday, April 22, 2014:
I think I'm going to forget about folding the laundry, forget about straightening up the apt., & forget about everything I need to get done today & instead snuggle with my sweet baby! its not like she is going to be a baby forever!

Yesterday Elsie was super good! She was completely fine with being put down several times. She didn't cry right away.. she just laid there & looked around kicked her feet/legs & smiled! So we decided to bring out a toy that my Dad gave us where the baby lays under it & it has toys dangling above, a mirror to look at & a million colors to see. She loved it! At least it seemed that way since she kept smiling & kicking her legs. She was soo cute!!

Friday April 25, 2014:
Elsie slept the best she has ever slept at night (okay besides that one time she slept 7 hours straight). She slept for 5.5 hours.. woke up to eat & went back to sleep for 3 more hours! I only had to get up once last night instead of three times! I wish it was like that every night! Dee kind of put it in perspective for me though.. he said "at least she is sleeping in her own bed, look at how she was in the beginning compared to now". We definitely have come a long way. At least she sleeps. & doesn't insist on being held all night anymore. But I will say when she only sleeps 2 hours at the most I always end up with a headache all day.. so its so nice when she gives me 4-5 hours!

Updates on Elsie.. she will be 2 months tomorrow! She still loves bath time. Our new thing is filling the tub pretty full so she can kick her legs & splash water everywhere-she loves it! She sleeps in her own bed. She is still wearing 0-3 month clothing. Still wearing size 1 diapers. Still smiling a lot. She can keep her head up all by herself & now she can hold herself up with her arms & look around for few seconds. I think she will be rolling over in the near future! She is fine if we put her down now (instead of wanting to be held 24/7) she loves her daddy! She is "talking" a lot more. & if we repeat the sound she made she will smile & get excited & kick her legs & flap her arms & repeat the sound again! (It is sooo cute). When I tell her she is so beautiful she smiles at me. She likes being outside when its sunny. & she gets her shots on Monday.. I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry! Poor little baby! Dee is definitely going to hold her. 
She loves to eat!! She is my little piggy.. her new thing as of late is to over eat so she ends up spitting up everything she just ate resulting in me having to nurse her a second time! (silly baby). She will only take a bottle from me. (Which makes me kind of happy.. I know that's weird but to me it makes me feel like she wants & only needs me to feed her. That's totally fine with me. It also gives me another excuse why I don't want anyone to babysit her. The other excuses being I'm too attached to her, I'm just NOT ready to leave her with anyone because what if the person watching her does everything wrong! for an example: tries to feed her "real" food... I only want her exclusively drinking breast milk.. The second one is.. & I guess this kind of ties in with "what if they do everything wrong".. I won't know what's going on!  & lastly, what if I miss something important! Like her first word.. or rolling over.. or sitting up on her own.. etc. All of these things give me anxiety).

I love this baby more & more every day! I absolutely love being a mommy! I don't know what I did without this bundle of joy! Dee & Elise are everything to me! I'm so lucky to have them in my life!!

Thursday, May 1, 2014:
On Monday Elsie got her 2 month shots.. it was a sad day! ): I made Dee hold her while the nurse gave her the shots because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it! & I was right! I could barely handle it not holding her. I cried. She trusts us & we betrayed her. Luckily babies are so forgiving. It was so heartbreaking. She cried a cry I've never heard before.. she was crying so hard  that she seemed to stop breathing for a second. She even looked like she turned purple. I felt like I was the worst mom in the world!! But I knew the shots had to be done. I'm a firm believer of getting your vaccines. I'm well aware that "things" can happen because of vaccines.. but it just makes more sense to get them than to not get them. Especially when the people who decide not to vaccinate their kids spread whooping cough around & give it to poor newborn babies.

Anyway after the shots were done Dee held her & soothed her. She fell back asleep for a little while. Maybe 20 minutes. When she woke up she was so smiley & happy! It was so unreal! But not too long after her happy fit, she started crying & going crazy. She was super needy & cranky the rest of the day. I could tell she was in pain. The only way she would sleep was on me. I felt so bad I didn't even care that I didn't get anything done that day. I am not looking forward to her 4 month shots. /:

On a different happier note.. Elsie has been sleeping really good lately! I think for a week now(: 5-7 hours straight! Then she eats & goes back to sleep for 1-3 more hours(:

& we took Elsie swimming for the first time(: She seemed to like it!