Lets start off with some cute pictures of Elsie. These pictures are after March 31.. but before April 8(:
Yes, she actually fell asleep like this.. Crazy baby!
I keep waiting for things to go back to normal.. & then I realize oh wait this is normal now. I guess it really is that hard for me to accept change. I hate change. I'm probably the worst at dealing with change!! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love having Elsie around & I definitely wouldn't trade this for anything. I just really really really wish she had a schedule. A routine. Something that was consistent. I know I needed to work on my whole I-love-to-control-&-plan-out-
Elsie has had a lot of good days so far. I tested out chocolate again on Friday April 4 at night. Yep she hates chocolate. She didn't have a good day on Saturday.
Elsie is a curious baby. She loves to look around. When I'm holding her she loves to hold her head up (& she has gotten a lot better at holding it up the last couple weeks) & look at things. She smiles even more than she used to. She loves bath time now & she still loves getting rubbed with lotion. She has been wearing 0-3 month clothing since the 1st of the month. They are still a little baggy, but she definitely cannot fit newborn clothing anymore! She is so beautiful! I love her more & more everyday!! Tomorrow she will be 6 weeks! So unreal!
Elsie sleeping while I change her diaper.. She's a cutie!
The last two nights she has been sleeping in her own bed (before then she has been sleeping in my arms or in bed with us for about a week & a half). The last two nights she has slept 4/4.5 hours straight!! (Instead of waking up every 30 minutes-2 hours). Then she eats & goes back to sleep for 2 hours. Wakes up, eats, goes back to sleep for 1 hour. Then she takes 2-2 hour naps during the day. I wish I could say this is going to he her routine.. but tonight could be totally different! /: but here is to hoping she will do the same thing tonight!
Friday, April 11, 2014:
I love being a stay at home mom & wife! I love making meals, cleaning the house, taking care of my baby, catching up on reading when she is eating.. I will admit I have also taken on watching tv while she is eating & I've probably watched more tv in my whole life combined than I ever had before Elsie. (That needs to change). Its just easier to turn the tv on than grab a book to read with one free hand.. plus for some reason she stops eating every time I look at a book.
Starting on Monday I'm going to start working out again.. I'm going to go easy on myself for the next 3 weeks.. but once May rolls around I'm going to go all out. Because now I don't have an excuse for being fat. Sometimes I miss my pregnant belly.. it was easy to feel okay about being "fat"/ "big" & it didn't feel like people were judging me. If anything everyone would say "you're eating for two now" "oh it doesn't matter what you eat" "give into those cravings, it means the baby wants it" & although I didn't agree with those statements (Especially the eating for 2 part.. more like eating for you & 1/16 of a person..) It was just nice having an excuse & not feeling bad for what I ate. But now.. I need to start watching what I eat & be healthy again. I need to be a good example to Elsie so she doesn't want to be a couch potato & eat unhealthy & become fat. I'm glad Dee is into going to the gym & I'm glad I'm the same way, so we can always be an example to our children & they can be motivated to stay healthy. I don't even want my kids to go to fast food restaurants or drink Soda.. but Dee says I can't take that away from them. America is full of child obesity.. so that's why I worry about that but I guess everything is fine in moderation & as long as they're not eating it ALL the time it would be fine. Plus its not like Dee & I are obese so we have a less chance of having obese kids.
Anyway I'm getting off topic. Basically I just wanted to say I'm going to start getting back into shape. I'm going to start running again so I can run 6 miles & feel fine.
Updates on Elsie.. I think she is starting to have a routine! But I don't want to jinx it. She has slept good at night lately! Going to bed anytime between 9:30-11:30 sleeping for 4-5 hours. Waking up to eat. Going back to sleep for 2-3 hours.. waking up again to eat. Going back to sleep for 1-2 more hours. Waking up to eat & if I'm lucky 1 more hour in bed with me. (She didn't sleep good Tuesday night though, she woke up every 2 hours. But the good part is at least she slept in her own bed!) She has been taking 2-2 hour naps during the day. Sometimes its just 1 hour naps here & there but we seem to be getting on a routine & I'm one happy mama!(:
I already hate today & its only 8am. I officially jinxed Elsie's "routine" she hardly slept last night. & to make matters worse.. I'm not feeling well. Dee & I decided to go on a date last night so we took Elsie to the movie Frozen at the $2 theater. (She did really good. Probably because I fed her half the time & patted her back or Dee was holding her the other half. She only fussed a few times). Since we went to a movie we got popcorn. Its hard for me to pass up the chance to get popcorn while at a movie.. especially since during my pregnancy it made me sick the last three times I had it. (Yeah I apparently didn't learn my lesson until I threw up the last time I had it. After that I didn't get popcorn whenever we went to a movie). So I decided since I wasn't pregnant anymore the popcorn wouldn't make me sick. Yeah I was so wrong. After Elsie woke up from only sleeping for 3 hours last night.. I felt super sick. I felt like I was going to throw up & I had a horrible headache (I actually STILL have the headache.. probably from lack of sleep). After I fed her & put her back down I ended up throwing up which made the headache worse. It sucks feeling sick when you have a baby.. you can't just sleep or rest when you need to.
After throwing up I got back into bed & hoped that Elsie would at least sleep 3 more hours so I could try to feel better.. nope only 30 minutes. She wouldn't sleep longer than 30 minutes the rest of the night!! Of course the night I felt super sick she decided not to sleep! To say I'm exhausted would be an understatement. I can't get rid of this headache.. & to add to everything Elsie has been having a problem with Pooping.. so of course since I'm sick & since she didn't sleep last night, her body decides that hey lets not poop! Now the only way she will sleep is on me. But it just isn't fair. Then I don't get to sleep. Ugh! See why I hate today??
Oh! & stupid me decided to eat the red velvet ice cream cake Dee brought home yesterday.. so you know she is going to start acting up sometime today since Red Velvet has chocolate in it. Today couldn't get much worse!
Note to self.. don't think that just because she has been super good the last 3 days means you can afford to eat something your baby seems to not like.. because then Murphy sets in. If one thing is going to go wrong.. everything is going to go wrong!!! Can I have a redo?? I just want to sleep. I just want to feel better! I just want Elsie to sleep! I just want her to poop!
Well.. I guess I spoke too soon this morning.. it is now 6pm & today has been wonderful! After I wrote that on my phone & sent it to my email Elsie slept from 9:50am-12:15pm. & my headache went away after that 2 hour nap I got! She ended up pooping after she woke up from her nap & has been as happy as can be since! She has been super smiley! She even took another nap around 2.. but only for 30 minutes. & another one for about a little over a hour. She is so cute(: I'm so glad today wasn't how I thought it was going to be!
She stayed asleep the whole time I was changing her diaper (the one on the right).
Elsie let me sleep 5 hours straight last night!! Ahh! 5 hours of sleep straight is seriously heaven to me(: ever since she had that rough night on Monday/Tuesday she went back to her old routine of only sleeping at the most 2 hours straight. Its obviously better than no sleep.. but whenever she sleeps 4-5 hours straight its heaven!
Elsie has been super super good the last couple days.. she doesn't feel like she needs to be held 24/7 & if I put her down she will be fine. She won't cry she just lays there & kicks her feet/legs, makes cute baby noises, & looks around. Yesterday she laid in her crib for 30 minutes wide awake completely content!! It was amazing! & after she slept 5 hours straight last night she went back to sleep for 2 hours! & when she woke up she didn't cry, she just laid there. So I woke up to cute baby noises instead of a crying baby(:
I love this little baby! She is so sweet, & cute, & cuddly, & happy, & chubby, & beautiful, & precious, & she's just a little angel baby! & I get to be her mom! I feel so blessed!
Last night Dee let me have a girl's night with my sister Megan so he watched Elsie while Megan & I went to dinner! It was nice being able to get out & not be holding a baby for a little bit. Its weird how much I missed her though.. I really am not ready to let anyone babysit unless its Dee. It's just that I had her with me for nine months & now I have to part from her? It makes me sad. It will get easier for me though, but for now she is coming on dates with us/ going everywhere with me until I'm ready! I don't want her out of mine or Dee's sight &/or reach!! I guess I'm a little crazy! Ha..
I think I'm going to forget about folding the laundry, forget about straightening up the apt., & forget about everything I need to get done today & instead snuggle with my sweet baby! its not like she is going to be a baby forever!
Elsie slept the best she has ever slept at night (okay besides that one time she slept 7 hours straight). She slept for 5.5 hours.. woke up to eat & went back to sleep for 3 more hours! I only had to get up once last night instead of three times! I wish it was like that every night! Dee kind of put it in perspective for me though.. he said "at least she is sleeping in her own bed, look at how she was in the beginning compared to now". We definitely have come a long way. At least she sleeps. & doesn't insist on being held all night anymore. But I will say when she only sleeps 2 hours at the most I always end up with a headache all day.. so its so nice when she gives me 4-5 hours!
Updates on Elsie.. she will be 2 months tomorrow! She still loves bath time. Our new thing is filling the tub pretty full so she can kick her legs & splash water everywhere-she loves it! She sleeps in her own bed. She is still wearing 0-3 month clothing. Still wearing size 1 diapers. Still smiling a lot. She can keep her head up all by herself & now she can hold herself up with her arms & look around for few seconds. I think she will be rolling over in the near future! She is fine if we put her down now (instead of wanting to be held 24/7) she loves her daddy! She is "talking" a lot more. & if we repeat the sound she made she will smile & get excited & kick her legs & flap her arms & repeat the sound again! (It is sooo cute). When I tell her she is so beautiful she smiles at me. She likes being outside when its sunny. & she gets her shots on Monday.. I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry! Poor little baby! Dee is definitely going to hold her.
She loves to eat!! She is my little piggy.. her new thing as of late is to over eat so she ends up spitting up everything she just ate resulting in me having to nurse her a second time! (silly baby). She will only take a bottle from me. (Which makes me kind of happy.. I know that's weird but to me it makes me feel like she wants & only needs me to feed her. That's totally fine with me. It also gives me another excuse why I don't want anyone to babysit her. The other excuses being I'm too attached to her, I'm just NOT ready to leave her with anyone because what if the person watching her does everything wrong! for an example: tries to feed her "real" food... I only want her exclusively drinking breast milk.. The second one is.. & I guess this kind of ties in with "what if they do everything wrong".. I won't know what's going on! & lastly, what if I miss something important! Like her first word.. or rolling over.. or sitting up on her own.. etc. All of these things give me anxiety).
I love
this baby more & more every day! I absolutely love being a mommy! I
don't know what I did without this bundle of joy! Dee & Elise are
everything to me! I'm so lucky to have them in my life!!
Anyway after the shots were done Dee held her & soothed her. She fell back asleep for a little while. Maybe 20 minutes. When she woke up she was so smiley & happy! It was so unreal! But not too long after her happy fit, she started crying & going crazy. She was super needy & cranky the rest of the day. I could tell she was in pain. The only way she would sleep was on me. I felt so bad I didn't even care that I didn't get anything done that day. I am not looking forward to her 4 month shots. /:
Thursday, May 1, 2014:
On Monday Elsie got her 2 month shots.. it was a sad day! ): I made Dee hold her while the nurse gave her the shots because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it! & I was right! I could barely handle it not holding her. I cried. She trusts us & we betrayed her. Luckily babies are so forgiving. It was so heartbreaking. She cried a cry I've never heard before.. she was crying so hard that she seemed to stop breathing for a second. She even looked like she turned purple. I felt like I was the worst mom in the world!! But I knew the shots had to be done. I'm a firm believer of getting your vaccines. I'm well aware that "things" can happen because of vaccines.. but it just makes more sense to get them than to not get them. Especially when the people who decide not to vaccinate their kids spread whooping cough around & give it to poor newborn babies.
On Monday Elsie got her 2 month shots.. it was a sad day! ): I made Dee hold her while the nurse gave her the shots because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it! & I was right! I could barely handle it not holding her. I cried. She trusts us & we betrayed her. Luckily babies are so forgiving. It was so heartbreaking. She cried a cry I've never heard before.. she was crying so hard that she seemed to stop breathing for a second. She even looked like she turned purple. I felt like I was the worst mom in the world!! But I knew the shots had to be done. I'm a firm believer of getting your vaccines. I'm well aware that "things" can happen because of vaccines.. but it just makes more sense to get them than to not get them. Especially when the people who decide not to vaccinate their kids spread whooping cough around & give it to poor newborn babies.
Anyway after the shots were done Dee held her & soothed her. She fell back asleep for a little while. Maybe 20 minutes. When she woke up she was so smiley & happy! It was so unreal! But not too long after her happy fit, she started crying & going crazy. She was super needy & cranky the rest of the day. I could tell she was in pain. The only way she would sleep was on me. I felt so bad I didn't even care that I didn't get anything done that day. I am not looking forward to her 4 month shots. /:
On a different
happier note.. Elsie has been sleeping really good lately! I think for a
week now(: 5-7 hours straight! Then she eats & goes back to sleep
for 1-3 more hours(:
& we took Elsie swimming for the first time(: She seemed to like it!
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