O is for... Obsessive.

I was reading The Scarlet Pimpernel while the babe was in the bath earlier. For some reason I was reminded of last night and how after watching 4 cute kiddos, I realized that I have been so obsessed with wanting another baby that I have forgotten to enjoy only having one kid. 

So today I dedicated my day to Elsie. I want to take every second of every day in because I know too well that these times are going to go by too fast and I won't ever get to relive them. I don't know how or why I get so caught up in trying to speed up time when I have everything I need right here and now. So what if I am 24 and don't have a bachelors.. so what if I'm a poor college student living pay check to pay check with my loving husband.. so what if I only have one baby. So what if I'm not where I thought I would be by the time I was 24? I'd have to say I've come very far and I have done things I never would have thought possible.

Here I go again getting off topic.. AHH! Mainly I'm posting tonight to remind myself that I need to live in the NOW not the "when this happens I will be happier" mentality. I know Elsie is a blessing and I feel like I always treat her like one and I'm not saying I've been neglecting Els.. I just mean that I have been baby hungry for the last 8 months. Each and every month I fantasize about whether or not I'm pregnant yet and try to start planning out when the next baby will come. I see other people who have multiple kids and think to myself "I wish Els had a sibling to play with.." 

I do not mean to say that I do not enjoy Els.. because I certainly do. What I mean is I don't know how it feels to have more than one kid. For some reason I feel felt like it would be picture perfect. Elsie loves babies so she would automatically love the new baby, they would get along so good, they would keep each other occupied and sleep all night and everything would be so much easier the second time around because I'd know exactly what we were getting ourselves into...

Yeah.. I do not know who I was trying to kid. Of course having another child would be perfect and the new baby and Els would have their cute moments and there would possibly be a few picture perfect moments.. but after last night (and I'm not saying it was hard.. or that the kids weren't well behaved.. it was just a bit.. well.. hectic. ha!) I realized that the time for another baby will come when it's time. I realized that things would be WAYYY different once we have another child and it wouldn't be at all like how I have been imagining it for the last 8 months. I realized I am going to miss this one on one time I have with Els right now. I realized that I'm wasting time wishing for things that might (or never) happen.

I need to start enjoying only having one child.. because (maybe) one day it won't always be that way..

So for now I am putting the wanting another baby thing on the back burner & being happy with what I have.

P.S. I have to admit that I really enjoyed the baby cuddles from my cute niece Bella. Also while I'm admitting things.. I secretly hope I have four kids someday.. even though it was hectic at times.. whether it was Elsie not wanting to share her toys with the baby.. having to change three kid's diapers.. or telling Harper not to shut the toddlers & herself in the room.. It was kind of fun. (:

P.S.S. We went on a little family date night and got yummy Italian Ice at a place called Zeppes.. Uh SOO delicious. We think it was better then Kilos and Ritas. mmmm!

That's all for now!